Hold Me Sway
by Serrafina
Summary: The hope of their entire society had just been revealed as an empty promise; he didn’t have any words for this. Post!Revelations


Title: Hold Me Sway

Spoilers: All of 4.0; takes place immediately after Revelations.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.

Characters: Lee, Kara

AN 1: The title is lovingly stolen from the song "Dimming of the Day" by Richard and Linda Thompson.

AN 2: Thanks, as always to tracyj23 for the beta!

Summary: The hope of their entire society had just been revealed as an empty promise; he didn't have any words for this.

* * *

Lee finally managed to pull his attention from the jagged line of ruins cutting across the horizon. His father and Laura were a few feet away, supporting each other. Everyone else seemed distanced, broken, shell-shocked. They were moving as though in a daze, not seeing anyone and not speaking a word to break the terrible silence that engulfed the planet.

His eyes effortlessly found her. She'd drifted away from the others and was now standing beside one of the large stone...things. As he watched, she pressed one hand against the stone surface, turning just enough so he could make out her profile. She looked...closed off, shuttered from the world. Her eyes pressed shut for a moment before opening again to stare her hand resting on the rock.

No one seemed to notice as he weaved between them until he was standing beside her. She didn't react to his presence, seemingly entranced by the stone before her.

Her eyes were wide and bright with pain and her lips parted slightly, allowing a breathy gasp to escape. Suddenly her chest was heaving and her entire body was shuddering and before he could react she had crumpled to the barren ground, her fists curling in the loose soil and her breath coming hard and fast. He dropped to the ground beside her, one hand rubbing up and down her back, the other tucking her hair behind her ear so that he could better see her face.

"Kara," he said her name as though it were the only word he knew in the universe. Maybe it was. The hope of their entire society had just been revealed as an empty promise; he didn't have any words for this.

"I was so sure," she said. "I...I had a purpose, a, a _destiny_." She was still staring at the dirt between her fingers, and then she was laughing harshly and frak if he knew what to do.

He tugged on her shoulder, trying to draw her into him, but she was stiff and resistant, so he settled for wrapping his arms around her shoulders from where he knelt awkwardly in the dirt.

"This isn't right, this isn't...I _felt_ it, I felt _Earth_ and it was home and it – I guess it was all just a big frakking lie, some crazy cosmic joke. Who ever believed that Kara Thrace could do something right? Could have this grand destiny, this message from the gods?" She sucked in a deep, ragged breath and then, "The gods don't talk to me." The words fell limply, even though they should have been explosive from their impact. Maybe the gods didn't matter to him, but he knew her.

He had never been religious. He had never known what to say about her faith before; how the frak was he supposed to restore it now? "I never believed in some gods-given path, you know that. I believed in you."

She smiled bitterly. "And look where it got you."

He did look. He looked at the twisted metal and fallen stone, the skeletal remains of a city in the distance. This dried-out husk of a world sure was a far cry from home.

"Maybe it's no Kronos Beach," he said slowly, "but look. Solid ground beneath our feet, water before our eyes, and real sun on our faces."

She snorted. "Real convincing, Lee. This place is a frakking tomb," she muttered.

"We don't...we don't know what happened. There could be...survivors, somehow, underground maybe or...a nearby planet, somewhere..."

She stood up then, and pushed away from him, turning to stare out across the water to the desolate horizon. "Could be," she said, "could be. You and I both know we pinned all our hopes on this godsforsaken rock, and now...nobody's going to believe in a _could be_."

"You're right."

That got her attention. He kept going: "you're right. This is going to be catastrophic—no, this _is_ catastrophic."

She turned away from him again. The message was clear: _Say something I didn't already know, Lee. You can do better. Restore my frakking faith, Lee. I dare you._

"I'm just glad I'm not President anymore." His attempt at a wry smile withered and died under her silence. Hot wind blew across the plane, twisting through the ruins and beating against the scattered handful of people. Lee took a moment to just feel, the movement warm and harsh. He breathed in deeply and said, "Do you still feel it?"

Judging by the way she tensed and turned slightly his way, she was as shocked as he was by the question.

"I...yeah. I still feel it." She shivered, wrapped her arms around herself. "But it doesn't feel so right anymore." She was looking at him then, really looking, and in that moment he was walking on a wire, sure to fall any second but finally feeling like he was on firm ground.

He looked out across the grim horizon, then around to the people (and Cylons) moving like shadows and, he hoped, not listening. His eyes, of course, were drawn back to her as she stood there, silent and intense and looking right at him, waiting for his next move.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "Got a heading?"

She didn't smile exactly, or at least not with her lips, but there was a certain softening around the edges. "You'll follow?"

He reached for her. She let him.

* * *

_When all my will is gone you hold me sway  
I need you at the dimming of the day_

_-Richard & Linda Thompson_


End file.
